I am Rebecca and I’m 50 years old. I am Irish decent and have been married twice in my lifetime and I am currently divorced. Relationships most of my life have never been kind to me and I’ve had good and bad moments in relationships. I have exp. Mental, physical and verbal abuse from men and women. I have a hard to in trusting men and women because I’v been used, cheated on, lied to. People have broken their word and promises, scammed and belittled me by words or actions by how I look or my weight which is 271 or what I can do or can’t do. I am not stupid but people made me feel that way which I have lost my self worth, self respect and confidence in myself and love. Low self worth or self esteem has taken a toll because I have never been anyone to show me different. Men have no respect of me or how I feel or went through life. Men has treated me as I was not enough or wan not important, unwanted and unloved. Which left me broken and shattered with a lonely and empty heart. I’ve loved with all I am and to give all of myself just to be taken for granted and broken. Men grant promises and give false hope with lies and deceit. I have had men get close and all they want is money I don’t have or use me to their deceitful ways by being fake. Men would pretend to care but then they expect you to have money or scam you and use you for things they know you don’t have. This left me in a dark places many times in my life where i have felt no meaning to life and wanted to give up on everything. People has mistreated and thrown me away knowing I can’t finacially take care of myself since I am trying to get my SSI. I admit I am not beautiful or skinny. I am a curvy lady and have my own scars. I don’t think I’m disgusting looking but I could be wrong. I have many health issues but I keep fighting to go forward in life. And I believe deep in my heart that there is a man who can love me out there somewhere. I realize I find myself I can no longer work because of my heath so I am still fighting to get my disability which leave me poor with nothing except myself and my heart. Ever since I left my second marriage and left Texas because of the hurricane and a shattered heart from trying again in love I lost everything I owned including myself and so I have nothing except the kindness of family who allows me to stay where I am in South Dakota. I don’t ask people for anything, not things or money and never want to be a burden or a bother so I learn to do without. I am grateful to be where I am and I’m not complaining. Recently I have decided I am tired of being alone and willing to risk my heart once again , why I don’t know. I want someone who can love me for me and share my life with for whatever time I have left. I may not be a special beautiful per but just maybe someone out there is for me. But by the grace of God I have faith. I still battle with trust and insecurities I am working thru but I would like to see if there is a man out there for me. But this time I want someone who fits me and my sexualty and desires along with what I can offer of myself and I’ve learned over the years of what I want and desire. I am no young chic anymore and just had a birthday in Dec. and I’m not always good about picking the right relationship and risking too much of myself. I am an honest per who relies on her spiritualty and I’m tired of being alone and I want someone to spend time with and maybe see if there is any chemestry with the one I find for me. I believe in God but I have this part of myself that is a kinky side as well. I have found that I love the BDSM lifestyle, such as bondage, and toys and anything of that nature. Some may think that is a dark side and it maybe true. I want someone who can complete me in everyway. I love with her whole heart and soul, kind and caring and understanding, honest and loyal, humble, and simple. I don’t judge, critize, whine, complain. I see what’s in your heart and not on the outside. I’m not pushy, or controlling, I don’t tell a per what to do or not to do, I don’t change people to be something there not. I am real and an open book I have no secrets. I have a kind heart, but I have a passion and wild side in private for that special someone to share the bedroom with the right man. But I have things I refuse to do. I am also shy and sensitive, love animals and crafts of all kinds, poetry, coloring, reading and writing for my ministry I started but also like erotic reading as well and being with the one who is special to me and my family. I am a good friend and listener and try to understand and have compassion. I’m supportive and faithful and patient. Simple and calm which I don’t get mad or angry very rarely but I am cautious when it comes to guys who may want to hurt me. I do have a very naughty side in private I like for the special guy and I love to please the man I’m with and hope he does the same. For me I do not do video sex or phone call sex when I do not know the per well. I have exp. which I have craved in the bedroom someone who is loving and a Dominate and lost to be in control who can please me and send me to the moon. It may or may not exist but if that per does I wouldn’t mind marrying himone day. I’m sure I am missing some more qualities of myself and what I seek in a man but that Is the mystery of me. You have to want to know me more and see what more there is. Just know this I don’t need what you have or what’s in your pocket. I don’t do head games, drama or sex games. I repeat don’t ask for money cause I don’t have any or a car to travel. Don’t be disrespectful or rude or mean. Don’t be cruel and expect sex pictures unless I know you well and especially when you don’t know me. I don’t jump into the sack with strangers. But I want to have a special man to give my all to. I desire a man who would never abuse or hurt me. I want a man who is strong and Dominate in private. Protective of what is his if he wants that special per. To accept her as she is and not control her life outside of our private room but be her partner. Someone who is supportive and wants to give her anything of him. Someone who is clean and decent. Someone who is loyal and faithful and only wants one woman in his life. Who is trusting with her heart and is affectionate and passionate and takes her to new heights. To love her and is real about what he wants and a long relationship if he desires it. Someone who wants to get to know each other and see if there is chemistry between them in and out of their privacy zone. Accepts each other as they are even with their faults. Someone who wants them for their heart and soul. This may seem long and I have taken the time to really think about is long and heart and would like one day maybe that one special one would love me and marry me one day. I hope that special one will search his heart and see what he truly wants in life and love. I may be poor and not pretty but I’m honest and real. So if you see anything interesting about me and if by some miracle you are that special per come find me and talk. Will that one take that risk as I am doing right now. If so email me AdultFriendFinder